Something I'm Tired of (and Maybe You Are Too)

Whenever the comments after an article about certain women's issues reach a critical mass, there is invariably some comment (or several) about how 'it happens to men too!'. It seems to be most common on articles about rape, intimate partner violence, and emotional abuse. (for those with trigger concerns, this post does not deal with those issues other than referring to them by name several times)
The gist of these comments seems to be 'you talked about this issue as it relates to women, but it happens to men too and you didn't address that, which is a major flaw of your article'. Sometimes they veer in to 'it's not fair' or 'you're perpetuating the male victims' marginalization', but often it's 'your article is lacking/less valid because you focused only on the women'. I'm not looking to wrestle with whom whatever issue happens to more, my point is that these criticisms are insisting that all types of people who experience that issue be included in all articles about it. That is not a standard that is generally applied to writing, and does not suddenly become a reasonable expectation in the context of crime or adverse events.
For instance, if an article was about the dangers of being pick pocketed and it addressed the issues particular to having one's wallet stolen while traveling abroad, someone who said the article was bad because it didn't address getting your wallet stolen in your home town is complaining about the scope of the article. The limited scope doesn't invalidate the contents of the article, it just means that the part of the article about passport safety may not apply to the situation the commenter is talking about.
Similarly, if you read an article about skin cancer, and someone criticized the article because 'stomachs get cancer too!' that critique would be completely irrelevant. Yes, there are other organs that get cancer, but this article is about cancer of the skin. Similarly, rape, intimate partner violence, and emotional abuse can be any combination of male or female, cis or trans, but a particular article can specifically address one set of variables (male on female sexual assault, emotional abuse of trans individuals, etc.) without being invalidated by the existence of other possible combinations. Similarly, writing about an issue that gets more funding and publicity, be it breast cancer or intimate partner violence against women, than a similar issue, such as ovarian cancer or intimate partner violence against men, doesn't necessarily indicate that the author agrees with the disparities in awareness, merely that they had something to say about the issue their article addressed.
The author and the other commenters don't automatically not care about that other set of circumstances either, even when they respond in a somewhat hostile manner. The hostility of the responses to the "it happens to men too" comments can stem from 1) the fact that the men-too-ers are trying to redirect the discussion 2) the fact that the men-too-ers' change of direction would make a discussion that was about women dealing with an issue into a discussion about men- plenty of discussions are already explicitly about men, add to that the ones which are on the surface about "people" but assume or default to those people being men, and you can see where someone who wants to talk about something as it relates to women might get a little possessive of their discussion and try to defend against making men's experiences part of the topic, and 3) in the case of rape, intimate partner violence, and emotional abuse, it is and has been an uphill battle to get these problems recognized and taken seriously, and some of the backlash can come at the men-too-ers because it seems like they are still trying to dismiss the female experiences of these difficult issues by making it about those similarly suffering men, as if the trauma of such experiences isn't valid unless it's been confirmed by a male victim.
Any men-too-ers who have read this far may be saying "that's not my intent!", or "I care about all survivors of rape/intimate partner violence/emotional abuse regardless of sex", or "I just want to raise awareness of the male side of the issue". I'm not questioning you there, but I am asking you to consider, if you were discussing the effects on men of one of those types of assault/abuse, and someone criticized your discussion as incomplete because "it happens to women too", how would that strike you?